(Photo: Richie Pope)
Toronto, ON — January 3, 2026
It’s 2026, and somehow we’re still hearing the same excuses: “I have Black friends, I work with LGBTQ+ colleagues, I grew up around immigrants — I’m not prejudiced.”
Let’s be clear: being near someone is not the same as being enlightened. Proximity does not erase assumptions, stereotypes, or the subtle ways power is wielded to maintain dominance. It does not undo the way jokes, policies, or attitudes quietly reinforce oppression.
Respect Is Not Conditional
Here’s the truth people don’t want to admit: people don’t need to be model minorities or mirror someone else’s experience to deserve respect. You cannot spend your life treating women, Black people, Indigenous peoples, Asian and South Asian communities, Mexican and Latinx folks, immigrants, and LGBTQ+ individuals with cold indifference — and then justify that behavior because you “know one person from that group.” That’s proximity as a shield, and it’s weak.
Friendship, casual association, or exposure alone does not inoculate someone against bias. Knowing a few individuals from a community doesn’t erase systemic prejudice or excuse bigoted behavior. Too many people use close relationships as a get‑out‑of‑responsibility card while continuing to support or tolerate policies, rhetoric, and social norms that harm others.
The Comfort of “I Know People”
Proximity means nothing if it’s only surface‑level. You can attend Pride parades, show up for Diwali and Lunar New Year celebrations, or watch the latest immigrant‑lead TV show — and still harbor assumptions and blind spots that harm others. The polite face of “I’m not racist/sexist/transphobic/homophobic” doesn’t automatically translate into being anti‑racist, anti‑sexist, or actively inclusive.
And research backs this up. Studies have shown that even individuals who report having diverse social circles can still hold implicit biases — deep, automatic associations that influence their behavior and decision‑making. One 2023 study from the University of Michigan found that proximity alone does not eliminate these subconscious prejudices. (news.umich.edu)
When Familiarity Masks Harm
This is the crux of the problem: performative tolerance disguised as progress. People can be courteous — even friendly — in everyday interactions, yet still:
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Support policies that disproportionately hurt women, queer people, or racialized communities
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Dismiss calls for reproductive, racial, or trans justice
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Laugh at “just a joke” stereotypes about Black or Mexican communities
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Minimize the lived experiences of Indigenous peoples
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Treat gender identity as “just a trend” while voting for legislation that restricts trans rights
That isn’t neutrality. That’s comfort trumping conscience.
Action — Not Excuses
If we want real change, we need more than proximity. We need:
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Self‑reflection and accountability: examining our own patterns of thought and language
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Policy engagement: backing legislation that protects marginalized groups, not just celebrating them on social media
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Courage to confront bias: even when it feels personal or uncomfortable
Being friends with someone from a marginalized community, attending a cultural festival, or liking a rainbow icon is not activism — it’s the bare minimum of civility.
Proximity Is Just Step One
Respect is not a trophy earned by association. Equity isn’t achieved through optics. If closeness were enough to eliminate bias, Toronto — one of North America’s most diverse cities — would be free of racial profiling, misogyny, transphobia, xenophobia, and cultural erasure. It isn’t. Diversity without justice is just a demographic statistic.
So let’s stop pretending acquaintance equals understanding. Let’s stop using proximity as an excuse. Real progress requires education, action, and accountability — starting with the uncomfortable work of dismantling the assumptions we carry with us every day.
Friendship is not armor. Awareness is not action. And being “close enough” will never be a substitute for being on the right side of justice.