(Photo: Timothy A. Clary, AFP Via Getty Images)
New York, NY — January 1, 2026
Looking back at 2025, the world feels less like it was spinning forward and more like it was careening down a track designed by someone with a wicked sense of humor — and no interest in brakes. From oligarchs consolidating power to right-wing governments tightening their grip, the globe seemed to spend the year testing just how far it could slide backward while still pretending it wasn’t on a slippery slope.
Oligarchs: The World’s New Trusted Leaders
If 2025 taught us anything, it’s that billionaires are not just influential — they’re the de facto policymakers. Beyond writing opinion pieces or funding tech start-ups nobody asked for, they shaped elections, media narratives, and even foreign policy, all while casually reminding us that markets are self-correcting. Morality? Optional. (theguardian.com)
Authoritarianism Goes Global (And Memes Won’t Save Us)
From Latin America to Eastern Europe, and parts of Asia, governments with authoritarian tendencies doubled down. Press freedoms were restricted, courts undermined, and elections “reinterpreted.” Disinformation campaigns became so sophisticated that fact-checking websites are now basically historical fiction portals. (bbc.com)
Economic Chaos, But Make It Classy
Global economic fragility persisted. Inflation, debt crises, and stagflation kept economists stressed while stock markets hit record highs — primarily benefiting the top 0.01%. For the rest of us? Let’s just say wage growth was more of a rounding error. (un.org)
Climate Change Didn’t RSVP, But It Showed Up Anyway
2025 tied as the third-hottest year on record, with floods, wildfires, and heatwaves reminding everyone that climate change is politically agnostic but relentless. (time.com)
The Fun Part? Everyone’s Pointing Fingers
Governments blame each other, NGOs blame governments, economists blame climate change, and influencers blame… well, everything. Meanwhile, billionaires pitch slightly dystopian tech solutions like it’s an infomercial. Hyperloop for refugees, anyone?
So Where Does That Leave Us in 2026?
We have a few options:
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Accept that oligarchs control the board and start negotiating salaries.
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Double down on activism, local democracy, and accountability — because someone has to keep the plot moving.
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Move to Mars (though $500k a ticket seems steep for a one-way ride).
In short, the world in 2026 inherits the chaos of 2025: tilted toward the powerful, absurdly human, and sometimes hilariously cruel. But humans are stubborn. We survive, protest, vote, and occasionally laugh at the absurdity — because humor may be the only thing keeping the world from tipping entirely into despair.
So here’s to 2026: may our billionaires be less competent, our dictators slightly less bold, our climate slightly less apocalyptic… and may we keep our dark humor intact.